Sunday, February 22, 2015

I'm Sorry Kyler

I'm sorry Kyler,

As you know, I started a new job recently.  Everyone keeps seeing my pictures of Kalen or they hear me talk about him and they ask if he is my only child.  I keep telling them yes.  I'm sorry.  Your picture is displayed on my new desk right beside Kalen's but everyone just assumes it is him as well.  I love you and I want to share you with them.  You are such a special part of my life that I think I am guarding your memory.  I want them to know you and my love for you, not just a tragic story.  I want them to know that although I would do anything to have you back, having you and missing you has made me a better person.  I feel like after they get to know me a little it will be a better time to tell them about you, but I'm sorry.  My heart breaks every time I don't tell someone about you.  I want to scream, NO! Kalen has a big brother! His name is Kyler and I love him every bit as much as Kalen.  With time I will feel comfortable telling them.  But until then, know that I love you ever second of ever single day, even if I don't tell people about you.

Love,
Mama