July 15 came and went this year with out me noticing. I guess that is good. We'll not totally unoticed, I thought about it a little bit in the days before. My boss gave me a project to do a few days before that I had to search through my computer for some files for. I was looking for a file and bam, there were a couple files that were last modified in the week before July 15 2011. I knew they were there. I've ran across them a couple times before. Seeing things like that just throws me off. It's kind of hard to explain. I told my boss about it. She understood. She told me to just go delete them all or re save them to change the last modified date. I probably should, but I didn't. Changing the date on them would make it so I didn't run across them again, but it also seems like it would be an attempt to alter the past. Luckily I didn't do much that two weeks before I actually had Kyler so I don't have to worry about running across files from then. I did/do have a notebook that I daydreamed and doodled his name in and wrote down the info on the nursing room in. It was waiting on my desk when I returned from leave after I had him. That was hard to deal with. I am not sure what happened to that. I can't imagine I threw it away. It is probably buried in my desk drawer. I should check and maybe put it in with our other Kyler stuff if it is still around.
Speaking of that kind of stuff that is a reminder of that time , the water bottle that I filled up as we headed to the hospital to have Kyler checked that stayed on the floor of my car before I had the strength to move it to the garage floor.... is still on the garage floor, tucked away behind the lawn mower. I see it whenever I mow the lawn. It is still more then half full with the water I got on that day. I suspect it will stay there as long as we are in this house.
We had family pictures taken this weekend. The photographer we use knows about Kyler and is supportive of us incorporating things of his into our shoots. Clay and I wore our mom/dad of an Angel shirts for a few shots and had some taken of Kalen with Kyler's blanket.
We had Kalen's hair cut for the pictures. I think Kalen's hair is not as red as Kyler's was. I will have to compare the locks of hair that we have from both of them sometime.
I am still planning on going back to school, but I still do t know what exactly I want to do. I am thinking lots of things. Nurseing, radiology, medical laboratory scientist. I just don't know what would be the most fulfilling and enjoyable for me. Luckily all of those have similar preliminary classes, so I will do that first. I wonder if I could set up some sort of job shadow, or meeting with folks in those professions. I wonder if the university's health sciences department could help me. I guess I have a lot of time to look into it anyway at one or two classes a semester.
