Perspective

Last Thursday I had to do my glucose test. The next day the nurse called me back. "You're going to wish you didn't answer the phone," she said. I failed the initial diabetes test. Today I get to spend 3 hours hanging out at the doctor's office, not eating, drinking sugar water, and getting my blood drawn over and over. Not a lot of fun, but also not really a big deal. Let's see, On the list of bad news I've gotten during pregnancies where does this rate....

1. We cant find the heartbeat. Your baby is dead.
2. You still have to deliver your baby and we can't knock you out for it.
3. You need a c-section and your epidural slipped, we are going to have to poke you again.
4. You're 22 weeks and dilated, we are sending you to the hospital
5. We are going to try and get the cerclage in, but we are not sure it will work. We might break your water and then your baby will die.
6. You can leave the hospital but you are on bed rest indefinately.
7. You have to get weekly (painful) shots.. (both times)
8. You might have gestational diabetes.
9. You have group b strep.

Yeah, pretty near the bottom of the list of bad news. At least if I do have diabetes, its something controllable, and if controlled shouldn't hurt Kalen. Not to mention, a diet change is a lot less disruptive on my life then something like bed rest. Not that I wouldn't do anything to get Kalen here safely.

This weekend we finally decided on colors for Kalen's room and started the process of changing Kyler's room to Kalen's. It's hard to "move on" but at the same time it is helpful. Kylers crib was just the way we left it on November 5th, except we had put the blanket and sleeper we were going to bring Kyler home on it. It was hard but also freeing to pack up his bedding set and dismantle the crib. This weekend we are going to paint and then get the a new crib for Kalen probably the next week. I'm excited to make the room his. Last time we painted it before we were even pregnant, so although it was really cute, it wasn't done specifically for Kyler. This time we are doing it specifically with Kalen in mind.

Clay is settling into his job a little more, which is taking a lot of the stress off. I also had a talk with my boss a couple weeks ago and told her how I felt like a lot of the work I do was being overlooked or trivialized. She's done a good job the last few weeks making sure to recognize my professionalism, reliability and contributions.

Kalen is now a little over 28 weeks. If he is born alive from this point forward, he should live. I've been thinking about when it is that babies move from heaven to the real world when you are pregnant. I think Kalen is here on earth with us when he's awake and kicking, and when he's sleeping, he is back in heaven playing as much as he can with his big brother Kyler.