It's been a couple weeks since I was put on activity restrictions and started working 20 hours a week and I am starting to feel isolated and alone. I had to quit the food bank, I don't see may people at work. I can't go do much at all outside of work. Even going to the grocery store is a struggle.
There is a lot of important, useful, stuff I could be doing for work, but it is hard to get it done in 4 hours a day. It's stuff I could do from home and I think that would make me feel accomplished but I am not allowed. HR doesn't like to have hourly associates work from home. I think it is doable but I don't think that my boss has the time to try and get it approved. Even though I do contribute when I am at work, it feels like I've been or should be written off. After all we have no idea how long I'm going to be able to do even the 20 hours a week. I'm slipping down the ladder watching everyone else climb much higher.
Today I went in for a staff meeting and pretty much just felt like an outsider. They decided that they are going to have a team get together outside of work some time soon. Not a big deal. The support staff is expected to come. The problem is one of the girls is going to bring her newborn. I still can't deal with babies, especially newborns. We had a Christmas party last month and I had a full on panic attack at the possibility that she was going to show up with her baby and ended up not going. Not sure how I'm going to deal with this mandatory socialization.
I've been trying to help around the house as much as I can, but I am pretty limited with that too. Clay is pretty much doing everything around the house. I get irritated when I feel like he has sat around and played on the computer or watched TV all day and didn't get anything done, but I don't really have a right to get irritated because I am sitting on the couch right next to him.
HR said that they would have a decision on my FMLA application by the end of the week. I'm worried about it, even-though there isn't any reason that it should be denied. But then again, I didn't think there was any reason my disability would be denied. I'm not sure what to do about the disability. I still think they are wrong, but I really don't want to deal with it, and I don't even know who could answer the questions I have about the policy.
We did get the results back on some of the testing we had done on the baby. We are in the lowest risk category for Trisomy and some other conditions. That is exciting. We also had an ultrasound on Monday and it looked encouraging. My cervix is measuring quite a bit longer then it was last time, although the doctor we saw said that he didn't expect it to start shortening for another couple weeks. We did get confirmation that it is a boy! Little buddy wasn't being cooperative with having his picture taken though, so we didn't get any good pictures of him. We have another doctor appointment/ultrasound on Tuesday. Maybe we'll get some good pictures then.
We got our "family" pictures back and they are pretty good. I am glad we did it. It was kind of a, look we survived a year and are doing okay kind of thing for me.
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