New Hope

For the last few months we've been carrying around a big secret.  We've been trying to get pregnant again since last June.  It just wasn't happening and things didn't seem right.  I went to the doctor at the beginning of October to get checked out and she said I was right, my chances of getting pregnant at the time were pretty small.  She sent me home with some things to try and told us not to stop trying even though the odds didn't look great at that time.

Three weeks later I was registering for my heath insurance for next year and just before I was going to submit it, I thought, "I should probably check and see if I am pregnant before I submit these changes."  I snuck off to take a test and sure enough, positive.

The time since then has been a whirlwind of work, doctor appointments, and the majority of the rest of the time spent sleeping or huddled over the toilet.  At first we kept it a pretty big secret, only telling a couple of my close friends and my boss.  I didn't really want to tell my boss that soon, but when I started puking regularly two days after I had a positive test I figured she should know.

Like I've said, we've been to the doctor lots, actually lots of doctors lots.  At my first doctor's appointment with my regular doctor, the nurse proved herself to be the saint I knew she was.  She came and got us out of the waiting room and diverted us to the ultrasound room right away.  The baby really was in there and had a strong heart beat.

The regular doctor sent me to the specialist who put in my cerclage last time.  They decided that a preventive cerclage would be better this time and scheduled me for surgery January 2nd.  After we found out that the surgery was going to be so soon, we decided we better start telling more people.  We told our families last week and have told a few more people since then.  Everyone has been supportive.

Telling people is a lot harder then it was before.  Lots of people have asked me, "this is a good thing, right?" like they don't think I am "appropriately" excited.  I am excited to have a baby, it is what I want, what both of us want, but I know that being pregnant does not guarantee we will end up with a baby.  I can't help but think that everyone we tell is someone we will have to "untell" if something happens.  I guess you could say we are being cautiously optimistic   

We had been saying the whole time we were trying that Kyler and my Sister were picking out Kyler's brother or sister for us and when the time was right and they were all done playing they would send the new baby to us.  It was pretty perfect timing.  We found out we were pregnant a week before Kyler's 1st Birthday.  Being pregnant doesn't fix anything, but it does give us hope that we will get to be the parents we want to be.  It made his birthday and the subsequent holidays a lot easier.

The new baby is due at the beginning of July.  We are already thinking of late summer adventures that we can do with a new born.  I think July and August will be prefect months to have off on maternity leave.  I am also dreaming of extravagant water park birthday parties when he gets older.  I always wished my birthday was in the summer.

Tomorrow is my cerclage.  I hope it all goes well.  I am definitely worrying more then I did last time, but I've seen what can go wrong.  I know that the chances of anything going wrong this time are pretty slim, but then again the chances of anything happening last time were pretty slim too.

So right now we are asking for your prayers, positive thoughts, positive vibes or what ever your belief's are.  We appreciate them all.

Here is his debut pictures. (Yeah, his.  We had a detailed ultrasound and they couldn't tell for sure but they said 90% that it is another boy.  We'll get that confirmed in the next couple months.)