Confessions

I started this post a couple weeks ago but never got it posted because of my strict "no posting while on sedatives policy."

I have had to make a lot of allow my self a bit of crazy just to get through the last nine months.  I know others who have lost babies will understand most of these, those who haven't probably won't.  Here are a few "confessions" of the weird crazy things I have to do to keep functioning.

I turn off the radio when the "St Al's saves babies" commercials come on.  I think it is great that have saved so many babies, but I don't want to hear about it.  No one was able to save mine.

I take people who complain about their kids out of my facebook feed and I unfollow their blogs.  I'm sorry your kids make you so miserable, can you imagine how miserable you would be with out them.  I know parenting isn't easy, but be grateful for what you have.

I throw the baby coupons and mailers in the recycle bin before I set down the rest of the mail.  I haven't been able to get off all the mailing lists I signed up for.  It's a pretty good stab in the heart every time I get something from babies r su, gerber, Infameal.  It just reminds me where I would have been.  I also have all my email with the word baby in it go to a folder in my email that I never look at.

I run from pregnant women and those with tiny babies at the store, and I feel bad about it, but I'm glad the pregnant girl quit work.  I can't even explain the myriad of feelings they bring up.