It's been a long few weeks since I've written a post. My sister has been battling cancer for the last year. She is my half sister and she always lived with her mom while I lived with my dad, so we were never super close. She'd come visit during my dad's visitation and we'd often show up at my grandma's house at the same time. She was a rebellious teenager (for good reason) and I stopped seeing her much then. When we were together when we were little, we had a lot of fun, and a few fights.
I went on to college, got married, lived my life. For over 10 years I saw her a couple times and didn't talk to her. Spring of 2011 she found out she was sick. Her oldest daughter (who was adopted by another family member) graduated high school that May. She came to the graduation and we talked for the first time. She gave Kyler a pat in my tummy. She got to meet my husband.
Then I got put on bed rest. I had so much stuff going on in my own life I didn't have a chance to keep in touch with her. Sometime while I was focused on Kyler, the doctors determined her cancer was terminal. A couple weeks after Kyler was born I was able to go see her. We talked for quite a while and I shared Kyler's pictures with her and gave her one of his funeral cards. She wasn't well at all then. I thought that was the last time I'd see her, but then she was able to have surgery to relieve some of her problems and she felt a lot better. We came to see her in February and she seemed pretty good. In June she was able make the drive to Boise and come and see us. She got to see my (half) brother again for the first time in probably 20 years and meet his wife and his daughter. She seemed really good then, really happy and calm. Three weeks ago my niece called my dad and firmly suggested that he needed to come and visit one more time before he left on a month long vacation. We came up on a Tuesday two weeks ago. It was a long day, up and back in one day, but it was totally worth it. She felt pretty good and was able to make it out to the couch to sit and chat with us. We talked with her for 4 hours before she got really tired and started hurting again.
A week and a half later, she passed away.
It's sad. She had such a chaotic life. After she was diagnosed it seemed she was actually growing a bit. She was able to reconnect with quite a few people. Her life seemed a lot more calm and stable. I know I was able to help find peace about one of the demons that has haunted her for 30+ years.
Now that she is gone, I'm glad she is not in pain anymore. I really hope that she gets the peace and calm that I think she always wanted. I wanted to ask her before she died if there is a heaven (she had different beliefs) that she would find Kyler and play with him. I never did ask her, but I don't think I really needed to. I think they are already playing.
One of the last questions she asked me right before we left two weeks ago was if Clay and I were going to try to have more kids. She seemed like she really needed to know that we were. I explained our plans, (sorry they are personal right now) and it just seemed to put her at ease. Clay and I like to say Kyler is up there picking out a little sister or brother and they are playing. When they are done playing for a while and the time is right he'll send them to us. I guess now my sister is playing with them both.
Audra May Hendrickson
December 18, 1974 - August 2, 2012
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