6 Months

Today Kyler would have been 6 months old.  The 6 months has seemed like such a long time, and such a short time.  Kyler's other "milestones" haven't bothered me too much, but this one has a little.  My husband and I slept in today and when we were getting up I warned him that today, this week, and next weekend will be hard for me.  He asked me what I wanted to do today and I told him I wanted to stop and see Kyler and then go play.  So we did.  We stopped at the cemetery and left a pinwheel for Kyler.  It is so pretty there.  I know that seem like a little bit of a weird thing to say, but the area he is in only allows flat headstones so it just looks like a big park.  All the trees have leaves on them now, the grass is green and all the ducks, geese and swans in the pond next to his grave have babies.  We couldn't have picked a better place for him.

After we went and dropped off the pinwheel we went on a bike ride.  We rode from barber park to sandy point and back.  It was great to be out and about and accomplish one of those kind of things that not everyone else can do.

Right now I am sitting outside soaking up some sun and then I think that Clay and I are going to go play catch, or maybe fly a kite.  Then I think I'll come home, blow bubbles and play with my sidewalk chalk. The counselor asked me this week what would do if I didn't have to go to work.  I told her I'd go play.  She was surprised.  She was sure that I would say I would go hide in bed or something.  I'm still trying to think of some solution for work but I haven't come up with one.  I don't think becoming a gypsy is a viable life plan for us.

Kyler's 6 months just happened to fall on International Bereaved Mother's day.  I'm not sure how you are supposed to "celebrate" Bereaved Mothers Day.  I figured trying my hardest to have a good day and visiting Kyler was a good start.  Next week is the "real" Mother's Day.  I'm not sure what we are going to do for that day either.  I know for sure we are not going to spend it around a bunch of happy mothers.  Maybe we will just do like we did today.