Back to work tomorrow

12 hours and I'll be back at work!  It came up on me so slowly and so quickly.  I can't believe it has been 8 weeks since I was at work last and 24 weeks, nearly half a year, since I've been there for any amount of time.  Am I ready to go back?  Yes and no.  Am I excited to go back?  Yes and no.  Do I think I'll survive?  Yes.  Will I cry at work?  Hopefully not, but probably.  I know my bosses sent out an email telling everyone what happened, but my department is notorious for not reading email as we literally get thousands a week.  I think the thing I am most worried about is people who didn't hear what happened asking me how Kyler is.  I don't mind talking about Kyler ( I don't think, we'll see... I haven't had to talk about him much), but I hate having to tell people that we lost him.  I'm also afraid people will avoid me.  Like I said in a previous post, I've been hating it if people treat me like nothing happened and hating it if they treat me like I'm broken, so I am not sure how I will feel.  I think that it will be easier there then anywhere else for me to get back into my normal routine, even if it is a different normal.  I think that my anxiety pills will be my friends tomorrow though, and maybe for the first week or maybe month.  I am super excited to go to the gym after work.  I'll feel so accomplished if I make it through the day AND go to the gym.  I just hope it isn't full of New Years Resolution people like it was last year in January so I can actually go.